When I Come Home
by Wondersland
Summary: Kurt always wanted Blaine to come home safe and sound. Will Blaine's decision to join the army(military) change that? I own nothing. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Three years. We have been married for three years. I have got to call Blaine my husband for three years now. That's what Kurt kept telling himself as he tried to hold himself together at the airport. He had thought about getting coffee, but decided against it, not wanting the extra jitters that would come with the caffeine.

"Flight 407 will be arriving at gate 11 in two minutes" came the voice over the loudspeaker.

Kurt looked down at the number he had scrawled across the back of his hand. 407. That was Blaine's flight that was landing. He jumped up and tried to walk calmly over to where gate 11 got out. There was quite a crowd waiting for this flight seeing as it was an international flight. Kurt stood on his toes to try and see over the crowd.

Slowly people people started to arrive and greet their loved ones and move on. Kurt kept looking around and then he saw those golden eyes and beaming smile.

"Blaine!" Kurt all but shouted and jumped into his arms forcing Blaine to drop his bag and catch his husband. "I missed you."

Kurt buried his head in his husband's neck, starting to cry, and Blaine just held him close. "I missed you too. I told you I'd always come home."

" _I can't believe that they shaved your hair!" Kurt said with a pout setting in over his face._

" _Hey! I kinda like it…" Blaine said holding his husband close._

" _You are not keeping it."_

" _We will see. Kurt...that's my flight baby."_

" _Do I have to let go?" Kurt says clinging closer._

" _I think you do babe," Blaine says kissing his cheek gently and he whispers. "I will always come back to you. I will always come home."_

 _With that Kurt kissed his husband deeply and let go, adjusting the collar of his uniform. "Come home to me."_

 _Blaine stands, picking up his duffle. "Always will." With one last smile he turns and walks off to catch his flight, and Kurt finally lets the tears he's been holding back fall freely._

"It's been seven months."

"Yes. So, I have the right to be as clingy as I want."

"But I'm trying to cook Blainey!" Kurt says with a little laugh, making Blaine tighten his grip on his husband's waist. He was showered and back in civilian clothing, finally.

Don't get me wrong, Kurt thought, I love seeing him in uniform. But, there is just something about seeing him in my cloths, a sweatshirt and sweatpants, both of which are a little too big, that makes me love him even more. To know that Blaine is finally home. To know that Blaine is finally safe.

Blaine takes a deep breath. "Man I missed your cooking," he says hugging Kurt closer to his chest.

"I'm glad," Kurt says with a smile. "I missed cooking for you."

"I'm sorry I had to be gone for so long. I hate leaving you."

Kurt takes a deep breath. "It's ok. You are home now. Safe."

I opened my eyes slowly and reached out for the warmth I knew would be just across the bed. But it wasn't there. I sat up and looked around the dimly lit bedroom. Blaine wasn't there.

It had been a month since Blaine had gotten home and I had only woken up to him in bed once. I kept asking him if he was sleeping and he just kept assuring me that everything was fine and that he was just used to waking up at an ungodly hour. I believed him in the beginning, but it had been a month.

This morning he was curled up on the couch, clutching a book close to his chest, glasses perched on his nose. He looked so engulfed in the book, but his eyes weren't moving.

I pursed my lips. "Blaine, baby, is everything ok?"

He didn't move, he didn't even acknowledge that I was there. I took a deep breath and put my hand on his shoulder gently. "Blaine."

This time he jumps slightly and looks up at me with wide eyes.

I smile warmly. "Morning cutie. Is everything ok?"

He nods and looks back to his book.

I sit on the couch, facing him. "You know...you can talk about what happened over there. good or bad."

"There's nothing to talk about."

A month he was home, and for a month I had tried to get him to open up about what had happened while he was deployed. I know that not all people come back with horror stories, but every time I bring up the subject of his deployment he shuts down and I can see that there is something trying to get to the surface. Something that is causing the love of my life pain. So, when he shuts me down this morning, I'm not taking no for an answer.

"What is hurting you so badly then?"

That makes him flinch and look me in the eyes, letting the pain he's feeling consume them, and I almost regret asking. Almost.

"I...I don't want to talk about it Kurt," he puts his head down. "It's over."

"But it's not. Not if it is still hurting you."

"You wouldn't understand."

Now that hurt. "Help me understand then."

He takes a deep breath and puts his books and glasses away. "Do you remember Kyle?"

I nod. "Yeah. He was really nice. We should have him and his wife over for dinner sometime soon. Catch up. And his daughter is so adorable. She loves your-"

"He's dead Kurt," his voice is so cold and rehearsed, like he had been saying those words over and over again in his head.

I gasped lightly. Kyle had been one of Blaine's best friends from bootcamp. They had been in the same unit and we had had Kyle and his wife, Beth, and their little girl over almost every weekend for about two months before the men's deployment. I had called Beth every other day, just to talk to someone who understood my situation. We hadn't heard from them since we waved goodbye to Beth at the airport. Well, I waved goodbye, Blaine had kept his face hidden in my neck. At the time I just thought it was because he didn't want to move. Now I knew the real reason. He must not have wanted to face the wife of his dead friend.

"Blaine...I...I'm so sorry," way to go Kurt. Rub salt in a fresh wound.

He lets his head drop. "Why are you sorry? It's not like you shot him."

" _Really B? The army?"_

 _Here it comes, the freak out. "Kurt, I've thought about this a lot and it is really something that I want to do."_

 _Kurt sighs, "You want me to be a military husband."_

" _I want you to be my husband and I want to be in the military."_

 _I watch him take a deep breath and scoot closer to me on the couch. "You really want this?" His hand reaches up to cup my cheek gently._

 _I cuddle my cheek into his hand, closing my eyes. "I really want to do this. I really want this, but if you don't you don't have to stay. I wouldn't mind. I mean…" I take a deep breath. "I want you in my life. I want you here. I want you to go through this with me, but if this is not the future you see for yourself...then you can leave."_

" _I want you in my future. If that means that you are in uniform...I am behind you all the way."_

 _Oh thank the lord, I thought that he was going to freak out on me. He is really with me on this. I grin and hug tackle him, making his chest bubble with laughter. "I love you baby!"_

" _I love you too B."_

 _I smile and kiss his lips gently, grinning when I can feel him smile into the kiss._


	2. Chapter 2

"I know that...I...I'm just...here for you...you know that right?"

He sighs and puts his head down again. "I know that. I guess i just can't believe...that he's really...really…"

"Gone," I say and he nods slowly. I move closer to him wrapping my arms around his shoulders, trying to stop his shaking. "I love you, B. And it's ok to be upset. You have every right to be upset."

Blaine is quiet for a long time, then he takes a deep, shuddering breath. "Can we have them over for dinner?"

"Of course babe! We can have them over whene-"

"Tonight?" he says in a small voice, looking up at me with those big, brown eyes of his, and of course I melt.

I smile warmly at him, "Of course B. What would you like to eat?"

"Pasta? Missy would like that."

"Ok baby...ok." And that's how we sit for the next hour, me holding Blaine close, rubbing gentle circles on his back until he stops shaking.

0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0

Missy really did love pasta. When I told her that's what we were having she squeeked happily and preceded to bounce around the kitchen, her light up shoes flashing.

"How are you doing, Mandy?" I asked as Mandy helped me set up the table. Missy was busy playing in the living room with Blaine.

"I'll get through it...it hurts of course...but I have Missy to think about."

I could tell that this was partially a lie. Mandy had been walking around with a haunted look in her eyes since she had gotten here. Missy didn't seem to notice, she was only three after all. I started to wonder what Mandy had told her about her father, but decided that tonight was not the time to ask. Tonight was about Blaine making sure that his best mate's wife and child were happy.

"You are very strong," I say with what I hope is a reassuring smile. "And Blaine and I are always here for you if you need anything."

"Thanks Kurt. That means a lot," her voice has a slight quiver to it and she keeps her head down.

Missy chose that moment to run in cupping something between her small hands. "Look what Mr. Blaine caught for me!" she could barely contain her excitement and was bouncing on her toes.

"What is it darling?" Mandy says, kneeling down to be eye level with her daughter and I look over her shoulder, curious.

Missy opens her hands slowly to reveal a small spider. Missy grins, "he told me to show Mr. Kurt!" She holds her hands up higher, so the spider was in my face.

I flinch back, and force a smile, patting her on the head gently. "Why don't you go put it outside?"

"Okay!" And with that she bounces toward the front door.

"BLAINE!"

"She wanted to show you babe!" comes a reply from the living room, and I can almost hear the puppy eyes.

Mandy laughs, "using my daughter to scare your hubby Blaine. Really?"

Blaine walks into the kitchen puppy-dog eyes pointed at me. "I didn't know it would scare you Kurtsie."

"Oh really?" I say, arching my eyebrow. "How long have you known me?"

"A long time."

"And who kills all the spiders?"

"...me?"

"Yes you, Blainey!"

He grins, and I laugh lightly, kissing all over his face, making him giggle happily.

Mandy smiles weakly. "You guys are sweet together."

Blaine gives a weak smile and takes a step away from me. "Thanks. Kurt really is a sweetie."

For the rest of the evening Blaine keeps the PDA to a minimum. I don't really get why, so when Mandy and Missy leave after dessert I can't let it go. "Did I do something to upset you?"

"What?" Blaine looks up from his book. "Of course you didn't."

I sit down next to him on the bed. "Well you barely touched me for most of the night."

He looks down. "Kurt...Mandy lost her husband. That could have as easily been me. I didn't want to rub the fact that we are happy in her face."

I sigh, "You came home to me. Safe. Why do you not want to show her that we are happy?"

"Because she is clearly not!"

 **Sorry this update is a little late. I hope everyone enjoys the story! Please R &R!**

 **Love!**

 **Wondersland**


	3. Chapter 3

"Just because she isn't happy...that means you can't be," I say.

Blaine hangs his head. "He didn't get to come home, Kurt."

"So...maybe that means that you have to live to the fullest...because he can't." I bite my lip, hoping I didn't say the wrong thing.

Blaine is quiet for a long time, and when he does talk his voice is thick with emotion. "You are right...I'm s-sorry."

It's that little stutter that breaks my heart and I pull him close. "It's okay baby...everything is going to be okay." I pull him into my arms and hold him close as he lets tears fall. "Everything is going to be ok. I promise."

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Everything gets a little easier from then on. Blaine realizes that he doesn't have to keep everything in, and I have been coming to terms with the fact that Blaine came back different. Don't get me wrong, I still love him to no end, but I do realize that he is different. He is more protective of me, and jumpy when we are out in public together. And that is okay, I can't even begin to imagine the things he saw when he was overseas. But, he came home to me, safe, that's all that matters.

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"There is an officers ball tomorrow. Will you be my date?" I ask, giving Kurt my biggest puppy dog eyes.

"Oh fine! Just stop with those big eyes of yours!" He says with a laugh.

"Yay!" I kiss all over his face. "And never!"

"What am I going to do with you?"

"Love me forever and ever and ever?"

This makes him smile. "Of course."

"Yay!"

0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0

I pace across the living room. Back and forth. I've been dressed and ready to go to the ball for the past half hour, but Kurt insists that I can't see him until he is finished getting ready.

I turn my back to the stairs and make sure that everything on my uniform is straight and in perfect order, again. Then I hear someone clear their throat behind me.

I turn around to see Kurt standing there in a simple mat black suit, fitted perfectly to his frame.

"Wow...you look beautiful."

He smiles shyly, "thanks, so do you. I never tire of seeing you in your dress uniform."

"Thanks, it's a bit uncomfortable."

He takes my hand and kisses my cheek gently. "I will be right next to you the the whole time. Right here."

I smile weakly, "I know."


	4. Chapter 4

After formal introductions and a dinner was when the real ball started. Everyone got to let loose a little, well as much as a bunch of military officers and their significant others can let go.

Kurt and I had taken this moment to grab a table in the back and just take it all in. I could see him taking side glances at me all night. I think he worried that I have been having a hard time.

"It's been nice to see everyone again," I say with a genuine smile.

This makes Kurt smile, "Yeah! I haven't seen them in forever. You never bring the round."

"I know baby," I squeeze his hand gently. "But when we are home we like to spend time with our families. I don't want to take that away from them."

"You mean take time away from your 'Kurt time.'"

"Sterling! I mean, Jeff!" I grin and stand up pulling him into a hug. "Where have you been hiding all night?"

"Dancing with my Nicky of course!" Jeff says with a grin. "Now I am here to steal a dance from my favorite Kurtsie!" He offers Kurt his hand.

Kurt laughs lightly and takes it, allowing Jeff to pull him to his feet. This is when Nick takes the opportunity to walk over.

"Ditching me already Jeffy?" Nick says with a smile.

"Oh never! Dance with us!"

"Dancing with two men in uniform? Must be a dream come true," Kurt says, giving me a wink.

"I think I'll sit this one out," Nick says with a smile, causing Jeff to pout.

"Go have fun you two," I smile.

Jeff nods and all but drags Kurt to the dance floor.

Nick sits down next to me. "So, how's it been being home?"

"Good, it was a little rough adjusting in the beginning, but now I think I'm getting the hang of things. With Kurt's help of course."

He nods.

"How has it been being home with Jeff?" I ask cautiously. I know Nick has been having a hard time adjusting to civilian life.

"Like you said, it has been a little rough, but Jeff has been amazing."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," he gives a weak smile and looks down at his hands. "I don't know how he does it all. I still don't sleep through the nights and he is always there, no matter what time it is, to give me a warm smile and rub the horrors away."

"He loves you."

"I love him too. I just hope he knows that he can break down to me too."

"He will, in time. It took a little while for Kurt to realise that he doesn't have to always be the strong one around me."

Nick smiles, "You guys have always had a good relationship."

"So have you guys. Just give it time," I place my hand on his shoulder gently. "He will come around."


	5. Chapter 5

Later that night, the dancing was dying down and Kurt, Nick, Jeff, and I were sitting telling stories of being home. Then another officer took the podium.

"Now that everyone has gotten a chance to get their energy out," he says. "We will announce the men and women here who will be doing another tour. Let's give them a big round of applause."

A hush falls over the crowd as the room is filled with nervous anticipation.

Nick takes a death grip of Jeff's hand, and Jeff simply kisses his temple and whispers quietly in his ear. "Everything will be alright. Breath."

Nick nods sharply and tightens his grip on Jeff's hand.

"When I call your name, please come to the stage. Glaser, Gomez, Luck, Rose, Sterling-"

Jeff rises slowly and pries his hand out of Nick's, flashing him an apologetic look as he joins the others on stage.

"-Macann, Duval, Anderson-"

I squeeze Kurt's hand gently and walk numbly to the stage to join the others.

"-Banas, Lister. That's all of them. Attention!"

We snap to attention.

"Present arms."

We salute the crowd as they give a round of hearty applause. Out of the corner of my eye I catch tears running down Kurt's cheeks, and it takes all of my willpower not to cry. It wasn't like this the first time I was deployed. It wasn't a surprise.

"At ease. Dismissed."

I fall into the ease position and then take a step back, following the others off the stage, and gather Kurt up into a tight hug, letting him cry into my shoulder.

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Later that night when we were buried safe under the covers Kurt asked if I was okay with being deployed again. The question caught me off guard a little. No one had really asked me before if I was OKAY with being deployed. If I wanted to go.

"I...I don't want to leave you," was my answer, avoiding eye contact.

"That's not what I asked Blaine."

I sigh. Of course he isn't going to let this go. It's Kurt after all. Who can lie to him? "Am I scared? Yes. Do I want to go? I...am proud to serve my country. I am proud that I was called to do that. I have no reservations about that. But...I want to come back to you...in one piece."

He smiles softly and cuddles his face to my chest. "You will."

I smile and run my fingers through his hair. "I will do my best. That I can promise you."

"Serve your country proudly, like I know you will. Then come home safe and sound to me. I will be here to welcome you home with open arms."

"Of course, beautiful."

That makes him blush. "You flatter me."

"I state facts, beautiful."

We are quiet for a long time, just enjoying each other's company.

Kurt breaks the trance first. "Will you read to me?"

I smile. "Of course, babe. What would you like me to read?"

"You pick."

I reach over onto my bedside table and pull on my glasses and take the book off the top of the pile there. _Ender's Game_ a personal favorite. My face breaks into a smile and I start to read in a calming voice.

Kurt hums contently and drifts off to sleep a couple hours later. He looks so peaceful when he is asleep. Like there are no worries in his mind, like the world is going to be okay.

I can't seem to drift into sleep, so, an hour later I slowly work my way out of Kurt's grip and walk outside. The cold has always been calming to me, something about the way it works it's way into your bones.

And that's where I stay for the remainder of the night. Thinking about how I am going to bring myself to leave Kurt again, how I am going to get through another tour, there is only one thing that I know for sure. I know that I have to come back to Kurt in one piece.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry the update is really late. College has been really busy! Hope you all are well! Please R &R!**

 **Wondersland**

It's been three years.

Blaine was deployed four years ago, though. So, I guess, it's been four years. But, it has been three years since the soldier showed up at our door.

I knew when I saw him that something bad had happened, and I didn't want to open the door. I made Nick get it. I made him receive the bad news.

All I did was sit on the couch, hugging my knees to my chest, tears running down my face.

Nick called Jeff over and together they told me what I already knew, that you had been missing in action for a month, and it was to be perceived that you were killed in action, because there was no sign of you.

"So here I am, Blaine," I say to the grave stone that I know doesn't hold Blaine, even though it has his name carved into the dark stone, but it is the only thing that I have to talk to. "Yet another year. I'm sorry I haven't been around more, work has been crazy. You would be proud of me though, handling the stress...alone."

I sigh. "People have stopped asking about you, and they have stopped asking me if I am okay. And...I think I am getting there. I still miss you. Every day.

"One day I am going to be okay, Blaine. I know you would want that for me, and I am working toward it, toward being okay again," I sigh and wipe the tears that never seem to stop when I'm here. "Darn it, Blaine. You said that you would be there for me. You said you would come home to me."

I stay there for what feels like hours, until I gather up the courage to walk back over to Jeff and Nick. They always insisted on coming with me, and I lost the option to refuse when I told them that the thought of hanging myself crossed my mind. Blaine's grave was in the shade of the tree, and again I know that his body isn't there, but I would still be with him in some afterlife.

That was a weak point that happened fairly soon after we buried Blaine. I don't have that thought as often, but on the bad days, when it's like I can feel his hand in mine, the thought is always right there. How easy it would be to be with him again. But, Blaine would want me to be strong, and make the most of my life. And that's what I try to do. I try to make the most of my life. For him.

"Are you o-" Jeff started.

"It's been three years," I snap. "I should be over this, right? That's what you are going to tell me?"

"Kurt...there is no timeline on grief," Jeff says, with a weak smile.

"I don't care if you aren't okay in another three years. Your husband was killed in action. That changes a person," Nick says, clinging closely to Nick.

Ever since we found out about Blaine, Nick has been extra clingy to his Jeffy. Jeff had been home for only two days when the soldier showed up.

A year later Jeff was deployed again, and Nick spent the whole time waiting for a sign that Jeff was okay. He wrote him letters constantly, most of them he sent, but the one's that showed his anxiety, and dependency on him were kept on his computer. Hidden away so that Jeff didn't feel bad, or worry about what was going on at home.

To Jeff's credit he did contact Nick a lot more than when he was on his first two tours. If it wasn't him calling or being on skype it was one of his friends calling on his behalf to make sure that Nick knew that Jeff was okay.

Jeff wasn't stupid. He knew what Blaine's death had done to Nick. It had ripped them both apart, and the year long tour after that was torture for both of them.

But, they are both home now. Safe. And they are my best friends, they have been there for me through it all and I don't know how I can ever repay them for that.

"He is always with us, always," Nick says with a watery smile.

"He always promised that he would come home to me," I say getting in the car. I just wanted to go home and curl up, and hopefully dream of Blaine.

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"Have you ever thought of dating someone else?" I asked Mandy tentatively. SHe has been a godsend since Blaine has been gone. Helping me through everything, and of course Missy is adorable as ever.

"Sometimes," she says with a small smile. "I know Kyle wouldn't want me to be alone, but I just haven't found the right person, and Missy...it would be hard to explain it to her."

I nod. I was always grateful that Blaine and I didn't have any children, so they didn't have to go through losing their father. On other days, however, I wanted something to remind me of him, even if it's just his wild curls on the child's head.

"Why do you ask…?"

"...I have been dating...someone…" I say with a small smile.


End file.
